Profile Essay Reflection

Natalie Sangiacomo

October 26, 2009

Since my last two drafts came back to me, I was disappointed in myself that I hadn’t given enough information and make my profile interesting. This profile essay was incredibly important to me. Suicide is a subject that our society feels uncomfortable talking about, and I didn’t want to address it or promote it in the wrong way. I worked very hard on this essay, and spent many hours trying to make the story flow.

My first paragraph starts out with describing the Golden Gate Bridge. I thought about using a quote from a man who tried to commit suicide, but I wanted the readers to be surprised that this essay is on suicides on the Golden Gate Bridge.

I decided to put in the story of Kevin Hines, a man who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge and survived. My junior year of high school, Kevin came to my school and talked to only my grade on his experience. We had to write many papers about him, and I realized I should have included him earlier. I believe he makes my profile essay more interesting and real to readers. I decided to end this paragraph with a quote from him, because I believe it’s more meaningful to the reader this way.

I kept my third paragraph because I originally had spent a lot of time on it, and felt it’s description was great and any more would ruin the flow of the paragraph and the point I was trying to make.

The fourth paragraph talks about the movie, The Bridge. I highly recommend you watch this documentary. I included quotes from the director himself that he states in an interview as well as a quote from a man being interviewed in the movie. I wanted the reader to know what this movie addresses and the importance it’s left of the viewers that have seen it.

The next paragraph is about the suicide barrier. I am very disappointed that Vice President of the Golden Gate Board of Directors didn’t call me back. I would have emailed her, but her email was nowhere posted. This paragraph talks about how there are people who support a suicide barrier and there are those who oppose it.

The writing center and your comments on my paper, both said I should have my perspective on it. I wanted the reader to know why the bridge is so important to San Franciscans. Most San Franciscans see the bridge everyday, and it’s truly an amazing landmark is too beautiful for words. Being in the presence of the Golden Gate Bridge has, and forever will give me a sense of serenity and happiness.